You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
