I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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