But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
