Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
