ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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