she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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