Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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