So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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