belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
