I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
