you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
