More tranny stories later!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
