you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
