I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize