I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
