is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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