wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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