yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
