Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well I just put wine in my tea
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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