he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
