Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
