i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
