I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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