Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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