I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
