i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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