Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
