problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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