'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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