exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
