is your mom at the bar?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
