Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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