so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
