i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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