I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I puked a lego.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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