Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
