I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she peed on how many people?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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