whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My hand turned me down
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
