dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
