But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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