did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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