i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
