a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
