I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
