He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize