If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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