I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
