If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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