New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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