If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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