rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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