I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
