At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
