It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
