guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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