He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just pee around me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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