who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We got so high we made milksteak
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
