I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
