She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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