it hurts more in the daytime
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wear drunk well.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
