Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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